jaded.

sigh. this is LIFE. life to the fullest, i think. all around, i see people breaking because of problems. problems that seem to suck in the bone until it'll make you feel weak. there's so much i want to happen. so much of LUCK. but here comes reality that seem to struck me right infront of my eyes. i have so many problems. my father and my mom don't seem to get along. i don't know what happened but lately they have been arguing a lot about so many things. my dad seem to be so cold in the family. it's like im so torn watching them say those heart-breaking words. and worst, it stays inside my mind. i'm so tired of them, got so much things to handle and here they are, adding my problems. it just breaks my heart to know that i am here in this world, carrying these problems instead of being happy just for once. i cannot remember anymore the time when i felt bliss. i am soo jaded.

still.

the midnight stars arent shining that much, i stared blankly up above. i wondered. what's the problem behind? i cannot answer my own question. many words boggling inside my head, distracting me from serenity. how come it's too COLD? too cold for me to handle it. to cold for me to say STOP. stop at the midst of love and trust. i cannot hold on much longer. i have to accept the fact. THE MERE FACT. he's changed and he will be that way forever. he won't be much of a fool to come back to me again, saying those dreadful words that i am waiting for. all gone. i pity this heart, wanting him. i was never too early nor too late. i was just in the right moment in realizing that THE FEELING HAS CHANGED. it's today that forever died.
such impromptu.